I recently had a conversation with a friend about her life as a caregiver. She is 7 months in, taking care of her mother who is quickly declining from liver cancer. She was previously taking classes and working as a waitress. When her mother was diagnosed she was quick to put her life on hold. She has no regrets about this decision, but she is having difficulty accepting that there is nothing she can do to help her mother. She talked about how awful it is to watch someone you love slowly die.
I silently listened to every word she said, remembering saying almost the same thing just a few months ago. The last thing she said was about her fear of seeing her finally pass. At this I spoke up.. I told her that she is doing everything she can. Giving her time and love is the best you can do for someone so terminally ill. While it is terribly difficult, it builds strength. While it is not for everyone, it will be an experience that shapes you& stays with you always. I cannot say how her mother will pass, but if she is able to be with her when she does, it is a moment that no one will ever be able to take from her.
Two and a half months later, I think I'm starting to be a little more at peace with what happened in my house. Mom and I were the last two touching dad while he was still alive. We cried and said nice words and sat in shock as the paramedics took him to the hospital. We shared a laugh about what an odd day it had been.. How dad was ready to go, how he had spent extra time with me that day just relaxing and watching TV (which was unheard of lately), how mom had gotten home a little early from work to spend almost an hour with him before he passed. I know that he is at peace& I think he was ready to end this part of his life.
Death is a terrifying, confusing, and extraordinary moment that is a part of life. Everyone's life.. and I won't forget my Dad's passing. Not as long as I live. 5/20/54-4/8/13 Miss you papa bear <3
